I’m Kaitlin. 20. Long Island, NY
I’m a student of Public Relations and Arabic at Boston University. I first found yoga in 2008, but only realized exactly what it meant to me and what it does for me in the Fall of 2010 after taking a Vinyasa class at Back Bay Yoga Studio in Boston with Ame Wren.
In high school, I never really had a hard time with self-image or anxiety, or at least I didn’t notice if I did. I had a lot of friends and was super involved in so many clubs and sports. While I was happy, I always dealt with attachment and self-confidence issues, and it was during my senior year of school when it really started to effect me and my relationships with people. I started to change, and I always viewed change to be a negative thing, so I began to hate myself for it.
When I got to college, I really started to deal with depression, as many people do. After some boy troubles the summer before, I had the impression that I would never be happy and would never find anyone. I was just really sad, all of the time.
Then I met Zachary and yoga. My relationship with my current boyfriend (we’ve been together since November 2010) started to change my life in such a positive way, but that’s a whole other story, and I can talk about it for days.
My relationship with yoga also changed my life positively. I decided that I would live my life purely, and this started to effect my other relationships. Because of the decisions I started to make, my best friends from high school and I started to part ways dramatically. I began to truly stick out as a completely different person. I hated it. It killed me. Differences in our ways of thinking which never seemed so big were magnified, and I thought my world was going to end. This disconnect forced me to question myself and I again fell into states of depression.
Since then, through the practice of yoga, I have learned to love the person who I have become inside, which, a few months ago, I would never thought could be possible. I was scared, self conscious, and insecure, and quite honestly, I hated who I pretended to be. I’m now confident with my decisions not to drink or smoke, to be a vegan, etc.
I completed my 200 hour teacher training at Back Bay Yoga Studio in January of 2012. I’m forever devoted to my teachers Ame Wren, Claire Jannuzi, Aaron Cantor, and Lynne Begier, and my number one inspiration, Laura Ahrens.
While my confidence in my inner-self has never been so high, over the past year, the positive views I had on my appearance deteriorated. I started hurting myself as a way to deal with it. Everyday, I fight to be content with the way I look, and I’ll tell you- it’s a struggle. I’ve noticed myself obsessing with how much I exercise and what kinds of food I put into my body and ultimately, what I see in the mirror. I know that with time, these ugly, ugly thoughts will go away.
I’m also a member of the Air Force Reserve Officer Training Corps and I try incorporate what I learn on my mat into a hectic military lifestyle. My physical training as a part of the Air Force combined with my yoga practice allows for smart and intense strength building as well as authentic awareness of the mind and body. Each time I roll out my mat, I focus on cultivating a sense of belonging for all, especially for those who do not or cannot practice. Yoga has helped me to find a sense of pride and belonging within myself.
Please feel free to ask me everything and anything about everything and anything. I’d love to talk! xoxo Kaitlin
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