Sometimes I really hate how my ED keeps me from wanting to drink and have fun like a normal college student. Stupid liquid cals.
sometimes i think i miss being sick
but i don’t really miss it
i miss the weird romanticized version of being sick that i have created in my mind
sure, when i’m feeling badly, the idea of numbing myself and wasting away sounds nice (in theory).
but eating disorders and depression don’t numb you.
they make you feel so awful that you no longer remember that it’s possible to feel anything other than terrible.
It’s so crazy to look back on my life, even to just a few months ago. I’ve been doing it all day, since it was my last time seeing the therapist I’ve been seeing for the past 6 months.
Before I started my treatment, I was a mess. I cried everyday, self harmed very frequently, was underweight, had no friends. I really hated myself.
Now, while I deal with enough self-hate still, the serious sadness and depression has pretty much evaporated. Even though I have plenty of bad days where I cry and I hate, I’m overall very happy.
If you think that losing weight is going to make you happy, you’re wrong. If you think that eating close to nothing, and working out three times a day, and seeing your bones poke through your skin is going to make you happy, you’re wrong. You’ll never be satisfied or truly fulfilled just because of a number on a scale. Fuck that scale. Throw it away. What are you great at? Explore it. Love where you are and who you are because you’re a beautiful being with so much heart and soul and you fucking deserve it.
Dig deep and find your purpose. And I promise you, God didn’t create you for the sole purpose of being skinny.
My sister sent me these pictures of my dogs enjoying the sun and I pretty much died ommmggggg
You know he’s the one when you use the last of your almond butter for his almond butter and jelly sandwich
My beautiful, no filter bike ride home this evening. This planet is freaking beautiful. One of my favorite mantras kept running through my head:
Om Bhur Bhuvah Swaha
Tat Savitur Varenyam
Bhargo Devasya Dhamahi
Dhiyo Yonah Prachodayat
Translates to: “We meditate on the glory of that Being who has produced this universe; may He enlighten our minds.”
Yewssss tomorrow I’m getting my nose pierced, and Saturday I’m getting my eyebrows waxed, my nails done, and spending the whole day at the spa.
Yup, cried as I said goodbye to my therapist SO SAD.
Tomorrow I’m meeting with my therapist for the last time and I’m pretty broken up about it. I wrote her a two page note telling her how much she’s done for me and how much I’ll miss her and I can barely sleep because I can’t get it off my mind. How am I supposed to deal with this???
Anonymous asked: acro yogzzzzz makin yo boi all hot in da pantz. get sum guuuuuurl ;)
LAWLS only on tumblr
disappearingfairytales asked: How did you get your boyfriend into yoga? My guy is not the least bit interested.
Eh he’s not THAT into it. He’ll go to a few classes every now and then but never really on his own. He just loves that I love it so he puts up with me :)
Anonymous asked: Oh god it looks like he has a boner. But congrats on ze acro yogas.